“For As Long As Love Shall Live…”

It’s impossible to understand the dynamics of a couple without looking at the down and dirty nitty-gritty of their most intimate secrets.  So let’s lay it all out on the table, shall we? We have what appears to be an ongoing argument.  A friction point.  The place in time and space where — simultaneously — our needs [...]

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Part 6 of Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood”

“Research shows that rates of depression are twice as high among women with toddlers as they are for other mothers. [Referenced from The Mother Dance by Harriet Lerner.]  In her book, The Sacrificial Mother, Carin Rubenstein hypothesizes that depression is the cost of self-sacrifice, of constantly giving, giving, giving–time, attention, empathy, understanding–with very little ‘payback.’  Certainly, [...]

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Part 5 of Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood”

“In order to make the transition to parenthood work, we needed to tune in to each other with renewed concentration and energy.  In her seminal book, The Second Shift, Arlie Russell Hochschild profiles several couples for whom ‘the scarcity of gratitude led to a dearth of small gestures of caring.’  In practically every case the [...]

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Part 4 of Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood”

“For Nancy, the adjustment to being home full-time with an infant was extremely tough.  She missed the solid footing and disciplined choreography of her prebaby days.  ‘I was very disoriented being home with Jennifer all day long,’ she recalled.  ‘I always thought of myself as a very organized, disciplined person by nature, but I realized [...]

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Part 3 of Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood”

“A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research found that by twelve weeks postpartum, 84 percent of couples had rekindled their sex lives.  Still, the researchers point out, fatigue, adjustment to her new role, physical changes, and breast-feeding can depress a new mother’s sexual desire for several months.  [Reference to  “Psychological Factors and the [...]

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Part 2 of Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood”

“One of the reasons we turn to other women for support and advice may be that in some deep, atavistic way, we know we can’t go it alone.  In Woman: An Intimate Geography, Natalie Angier points out that we are the only species among whom birth is a shared experience.  Think about your cat disappearing [...]

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Snippets from “The 7 Stages of Motherhood” by Ann Pleshette Murphy

“ ‘You know right away there is an imbalance,’ Elise confides.  ‘As enthusiastic as Brian is, nothing’s changed for him really.  He didn’t have nausea for four months.  He wasn’t unbelievably exhausted or moody.  He gets up and goes to work and can’t understand why I have trouble getting out of bed.  Life has changed [...]

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RE: Hello There

>Hello. > > I saw your ad on Craigslist about a second wife. I want to > begin by saying that I am not personally into that > lifestyle, nor do I want to be. I am extremely happy with my > boyfriend of 3 years. > > With that said, I applaud you both. [...]

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Part 3 of Snippets from “Loving Kindness”

“Happiness does not go away when we share it.  It is not a limited commodity that has to be somehow rationed out and conserved very carefully so as not to deplete our supply.  It grows simply because the act of sharing puts us in touch with its source, which is limitless….  The happiness of another, [...]

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Part 2 of Snippets from “Loving Kindness”

“The state of compassion as the trembling of the heart arises with a quality of equanimity.  Can you imagine a mind state in which there is no bitter, condemning judgment of oneself or of others?  This mind does not see the world in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, good and evil; it [...]

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